第543章:又谈心(1 / 1)
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话说邹君逃离道侣们的“魔爪”后直奔“黑龙宗”与同脉师兄、师姐们谈心,虽不能劝其接任“掌门宗主”之位,却也趁机传授了自己的“双修秘籍”——《欢乐无极逆转乾坤大法》,正洋洋得意之际却被道侣们出手擒住,强行“押送”而回,接下来就惨了。
“喂喂喂,干啥子哟?”邹君被十位道侣合力“押送”回到王宫大殿后终于恢复了部分表情和行动自由,不禁惊慌失措道:“为夫只是去找同脉同门商量点事情而已,犯得着让诸位道侣如此兴师动众么?让别人看了还不闹笑话?真是小题大做,让人无语啊!”
“咯咯,小哥哥/掌门师弟/飞利浦小爸爸/夫君师弟/相公/邹郎/郎君此言差矣,夫妻之间还说那些就太见外了,为了节省时间就直奔主题呗,反正再过旬日便是月底了,到时候得去给浑丫头们和不少其他弟子们进行‘仙气塑体’,这一来二去都得整整五个月时间啊!都要把咱姐妹们饿得馋死了,不如趁着现在每人轮换一天好好享受你一把,重温咱俩那双修生娃的美妙,岂不乐逍遥?咯咯。”
“呃……我……可是那啥……”邹君话音还没落下,嘴巴就已经被阮金玉的樱桃小嘴给严严实实地堵上,接下来便是众女们到殿外轮流放风,彼此妙目相对后心有灵犀,一边佯装打坐炼气,一边放开神识来隔空欣赏姐妹们的春宫戏,对照自己那些方面做得如何?
“诶,你们这些女人真是让男人搞不懂,明明自己时刻想要,却总是矜持地是是而非,欲推还就,乐此不疲,有时候小鸟依人得比小猫咪还要温顺,有时候盛气凌人得比老虎还要凶猛,有时候喜欢把男人压在身下死命折磨,有时候却小嘴大张一吞到底……各种花样百出,真让人欲罢不能,活受罪啊!”邹君惊慌失措道:“能不能斯文点?别再像监那‘饿死鬼’一样,让人感觉毛骨悚然?”
“咯咯,小哥哥,知道便好,何必说出?活该受罪!”阮金玉得理不饶人道:“你们男人存在的意义就是给咱们女人提供全方位的满意服务,并尽可能多的去创造出各种社会价值,让咱们女人优先占有享受并论功行赏再分配给你们男人,否则就会宇宙大乱,影响生存与繁衍,要你们男人何用?别偷懒,赶紧干活!姑奶奶我还要放开肚皮给你生一大堆孩子呢?反正现在钱多养得起,咯咯。”
经过一天一夜轮番大战后,邹君感觉有些疲惫了,好在轮到“修女”玛利亚换岗,并没有像阮金玉那贼婆娘一般喜欢“饿虎扑食”,而是细嚼慢咽,细水长流,简直太贴心了,终于让邹君及时缓过劲儿来,重新证明了自己作为男人才是真正的“一家之主”!
第三天轮到“小三”水红勺上岗,第四天轮到“小四”木子美值班……直到第十天轮道“小十”钟藜时,邹君却早已被折腾得虚脱躺在床上,因为他没想到自己即便是修炼到了“归元真我”境界,却在这群“如狼似虎”的饥饿女人轮番进攻下,仍旧一筹莫展。
“咯咯,小哥哥/掌门师弟/飞利浦小爸爸/夫君师弟/相公/邹郎/郎君,今日干得不错,咱姐妹们很满意,待‘仙气塑体’之事结束后,咱们接着继续玩呀,咯咯。”众女笑得花枝招展道:“不知是何方神圣,竟能创造出《欢乐无极逆转乾坤大法》这般逆天的双修法门,让咱姐妹们的神魂得以互换式的轮流占据咱家‘好男人’的身体来修炼,让修为境界猛增,不知不觉中就突破到了‘炼虚七重天’,这才三年多而已,简直比吞噬雷电来的还要快啊!咱’居家好男人‘浑身是宝,真想把你吞到肚子里再生出来得了,桀桀。”
“呃……那啥,我说,诸位道侣通宵达旦地折腾了这么久,也该让为夫歇会儿了吧?否则明日的‘仙气塑体’之事恐怕得延迟几天,毕竟连日大战都已将为夫耗得精疲力尽,不好好休息还真不行呀?”邹君好不容易才撑到“小十”钟藜完事儿,便赶紧提醒道。
“咯咯,既然咱们的‘居家好男人’态度如此诚恳,那就先饶了你吧。给你放半天假,赶紧去处理一下琐事,明日就按原计划执行‘仙气塑体’命令,待晚辈们完事后,你还得继续履行好做丈夫的义务,否则有你好看的!咯咯。”众女嘻嘻哈哈,心照不宣地媚眼传情后,便将邹君打发走了。邹君也心知肚明,于是便掐诀念咒起来,待浑身上下泛起一道白光后就凭空消失不见了,赶时间啊!
等到邹君再次出现时,已经到了1500万里之外,接着又连续施展了多次“虚空横渡”之“空间跳跃”法术后,便来到了“玄阴宗”山门所在。于是,邹君法诀一变,立刻念咒起来,同时施展了《旁门左道七十二术》之“开壁”,轻而易举就瞬间穿透了其“护宗大阵”所显化的“结界护罩”,凭空出现在了“玄阴宗”的议事大殿中,见长女家乐端坐高位,师父退居幕后,师兄则与女婿剑逍遥坐在左右下首,剩下的才是宗门内百余名“化神真尊”长老们,于是呵呵笑道:“大丫头,表现不错嘛,老子来看你了,嘿嘿。”
“爹爹/师弟/太上长老,您老人家怎么亲自来了?”殿内众人见邹君突然凭空出现,顿时就被惊呆了,但转念一想便知对方肯定有事而且是大事才会如此,于是纷纷在心中嘀咕起来。这时,“玄阴老祖”也早已感应到了小徒弟,于是摇身一晃便出现在大殿上。
“徒儿见过师尊,给师尊请安了。”邹君笑着拱手一礼道:“徒儿此来,是想跟师兄‘谈心’,因为有些事情关乎到宗门法统传承。”————“桀桀,小徒弟,免礼了。”那吸血鬼模样的“玄阴老祖”上下打量了一阵邹君后,不禁桀桀怪笑道:“小徒弟,老夫见你起色不大好,是不是那啥……那方面有点过火了?凡事过犹不及,即便年轻虽好,但也得注意身体呀,嘿嘿。”对方没点破。
“呃……没事儿,休息一阵就好。师尊大可放心。”邹君笑道:“弟子只想跟师兄商量一下,看能否出任本宗掌门,就这事。”
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